The Two of Us
by Tamereth
Summary: Enemies since they were children, Kaiba and Tea aren't too happy when their parents announce a marriage agreement the devil couldn’t work his way out of. But it doesn't mean they won't try. Much plotting ensues. [AU KaibaxTea]


**The Two of Us**

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**Rating: **T  
**Status: **Complete  
**Summary: **Enemies since they were children, Kaiba and Tea are not too happy when their parents announce a marriage agreement the devil couldn't work his way out of. Much plotting ensues. AU

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"I don't want any arguments." The brunette-haired woman looked around at the two sullen-faced teens. 

"But Mother!"

"But Mother nothing. You can find the best lawyer in the country, and he'll tell you that there's no way out of this deal."

"What about the best lawyer in the world?" Tea Gardner snapped, her blue eyes flashing defiantly. Mother or not, she was going to argue this until the very end. "You know I hate the man. You know he hates me."

"Tea dear, you don't use the word hate. And besides, the two of you look perfect together." Tea hated it when her mother used that tone of voice- it ranked right up at the top of Ten-Things-Tea-Hates, along with Seto Kaiba.

"The word fits him perfectly." Tea knew she sounded like a spoiled little girl, but didn't really care. Stupid, meddling parents..."We can't last ten minutes in a room without fighting. There's too many differences between us." She tried to sound reasonable. Damn it, she was as reasonable as she could get.

Her mother, however, was not a reasonable person.

Mrs. Gardner spun around and headed out the door, ignoring the death glares being thrown at her back. "Then I suggest you two work out your differences."

Tea watched the door close, her face smoothed in an almost perfect imitation of calmness.

Then, just as calmly, she took off one of the high-heeled shoes and chunked it at the door. It made a satisfying _thunk_ as it hit the innocent block of wood and then bounced back harmlessly. A second shoe joined the first.

She spun around at the sound of a deep, masculine chuckle.

"What's so funny?" she snapped.

Seto Kaiba shook his head. "You're wasting your time arguing with them."

Tea glared at him and threw her hands up in exasperation. "What do those fools think they're playing at? They can't possibly think I'm going to sit back and let them decide my future!"

Kaiba raised an eyebrow. "Those 'fools' are our parents. You know how effective arguing against them will be. Besides, if you were really aiming to sound like me, it should have gone like, 'What do those fools think they're doing? They know they can't outmaneuver me.'" The emotion he put into the words, albiet echoed in a mockingly high voice, was all too real.

Tea crossed her arms over her chest, turning her glare on him. "See, _this _is _exactly _why I don't want to be stuck with you for eternity."

Kaiba poured some wine into a cup and gestured to the chair next to him. "If you're going to be angry, at least be comfortable."

Tea caught and held his eyes as she strode over to the chair. His own mouth went dry as she traced a tongue over her lips. Slowly, so very slowly, she leaned down towards him, until her body was almost pressed flush against his. It was _very _disconcerting.

"Gardner, what-?"

Grinning, Tea deftly plucked the glass of wine from his suddenly slack hold and downed it. She flopped down into the chair, crossing one leg over the other. Her grinned widened when she noticed Kaiba's eyes still followed her movement.

To his credit, Kaiba had a quick recovery rate. It was only a minute later when he snapped, "That was _my _wine. Get your own."

Tea sneered at him. "Always such a gentleman, eh Kaiba?"

"I aim to please."

They glared at each other. Kaiba reached over and poured a second glass. As an afterthought, he refilled hers. The second glass of wine was quickly gone, followed by a third.

"But despite your- our" he corrected at her look "arguments, they just aren't going to change their minds. This…arranged marriage" he spat the words out distastefully. "Is better than any business contract the four of them could ever sign. No loopholes, no backing out, no nothing."

"They were always more thorough where the sake of the company was concerned. Why change that now?" Tea murmured.

"Good question. This totally sucks." He got up and started pacing. "Not even a whisper of a hint. No warning. Nothing. They have no right to do this to me. This really sucks. I don't even get a chance to back out- before the marriage or after. This totally, completely, definitely, suck." Tea swore she could see the carpet start to give way under his feet. His voice rose in volume. "They've practically planned my whole life for me- I was still in my mother's stomach when they decided I'd take over the company some day. Did anyone bother to ask what _I _wanted to do? Nooo." He paused for breath. Tea helpfully poured another glass of wine. He reached over, toasted her, and downed it. "And have I mentioned how much this _sucks_?"

Tea decided the question was rhetorical and did not need to be dignified with a response.

"I don't want to marry a stuck up, arrogant rich kid!" She wailed when he finally paused long enough for her to get a word in edgewise.

Tea stiffened as Kaiba turned in his pacing and stared at her appraisingly, his eyes trailing up her body before finally landing on her face. She swallowed as he stepped closer, suddenly aware of how _tall _the man was. She was sitting down, after all.

"Are you so sure?" he whispered, leaning down towards her so that his breath tickled her cheek and she could feel his lips brush against her ear.

"Stop that!" She spat, pushing him away and standing. There. Now that she was no longer sitting, he didn't seem as intimidating.

The tension in the room was almost palatable. The two stared at each other, refusing to blink before the other did, trading glare for glare.

Kaiba smirked. "See? Now we're even."

Tea blinked, then saw that he held her glass of wine (his, really, if you considered that she'd stolen it from him earlier,) in his hands.

"That's not fair!"

Kaiba guided a fuming Tea into her chair and sat her down, then took a seat himself. The glassremained untouched in his grip. "There's not much we can do except to go along with this farce. Maybe everything will work out" Neither of them believed his words.

"Hmph. I still remember when you were five and stole my favorite teddy bear. That really kills some of your appeal." Tea grumbled.

Kaiba threw his head back and laughed. "So you do admit I have appeal. No- don't argue. I still remember when you were eight and shoved me into the pond at one of our parents' parties. That's not the best way to get on someone's good side, you know."

"I wasn't _trying _to get on your good side."

They sat in comfortable silence, each strike and follow-up retaliation running through their minds. They had to have had the longest (and largest) war in the history of childrenkind. It did wonders for their creativity.

But oh...did she hate that man. This was life and death here, and he sat there looking all smug and way too sexy. Umm...no, that wasn't the word she wanted. Damn the man. She couldn't think when he was in the room.What the hell had her parents been sniffing when they planned the marriage agreement?

Tea took a deep breath, and then another. Getting angry would get her nowhere. Who was she kidding? She was twenty-two, for goodness' sake- an adult by society's definition. She should be allowed to make her own decisions, but nooo.

It was too bad she couldn't solve the parent problem the same way she used to solve the Kaiba problem- pulling pranks, watching out for return pranks, and retaliating. Wait…who said she couldn't?

Kaiba was a bit worried when Tea started to grin. One of those evil grins. It was similar to the one she'd been wearing when she smiled prettily at his eight-year-old self and the proceeded to dunk him into the fishpond. Similar, except she'd had an extra fourteen years to develop it into something far scarier.

"Do I want to know what you're thinking?"

The grin only widened.

"Never mind, forget I asked that."

"Hey Kaiba?"

"Yeees?"

"Are you still any good at pulling pranks?"

"What do you mean am I still any good?" he asked indigantly, before he remembered that he was supposed to be twenty-two and thus, acting like a man, not a little boy. Ah, to hell with it. "I'm better, now that I've had practice. Why?"

He hoped the answer didn't involve sacrificing his personal safety. He did have a fond attachment to his personal safety.

"I plan to make our parents' lives living hell."

That sounded good. "Living hell?" An identical smirk grew on his own face, as he imagined the possibilities. "What is the worst thing that could happen to our dear, dear parents?"

"Hmm…going to work and finding their offices completely refurnished…in shades of bright, neon pink…" Tea was on a roll, growing more enthusiastic as she went on. "No desks, no shelves, all their documents missing…that horrible penholder I made in junior high needs to go…"

Kaiba caught her enthusiasm and joined in. "And some palm trees- anything that has to do with relaxation will really get to them."

"And penguins. Don't ask. And sand...they're going to be cleaning this out for the next fifty years. God I'm going to have so much fun."

Kaiba grinned. "I like the way you think, my dear."

Tea snaked up to him. "I've improved in status, have I?"

His cheeks turned pink, she swore they did.

"I suppose." Came the grudging response. "I guess I could survive marrying you."

"But the question is, can _I _survive _you_?" Tea countered.

She gave a small shriek when he suddenly pulled her close and kissed her, pulling away just as quickly. His blue eyes danced. She could only blink at him in shock.

"I think you'll manage just fine." He assured her.

When he smiled at her like that, she just couldn't find room in her heart to get angry. So she did the only thing she _could _do- she got him back.

Hours later, the pair emerged from the room, grinning broadly. They stood closer together than was normally acceptable, sharing delighted looks ever so often.

The two didn't continue pressing their parents about the whole issue, which should have been a warning signal that something was up. Their parents, not of the suspicious type, regarded this as a good sign- obviously the children had come to their sense. Everything was going well.

Or so they thought...

It did not come as much of a surprise when weeks later, the Kaiba and Gardner parents decided to take an unexpected, very long vacation to the other side of the globe and spent the next two months devoting themselves to figuring out a way to cancel the marriage agreement they'd purposely made uncancelable.

Tea and Kaiba got married anyways, if only to make their parents' lives miserable. They, however, managed to survive just fine.

Their parents made the vacation permanent.

**:fin:

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End file.
